A grateful girl

I’m feeling a little icky today, so I thought I’d share a short gratitude list to take my mind off of my physical discomfort.

Hey, distraction works, man. Just ask any parent.

First, I’m very grateful that my little dog Sam is back to normal. In fact, she’s got so much energy, I’m thinking there must have been Wonder Dog serum in her antibiotics.

I’m also grateful that Sam waited to get deathly ill until I was out of the corporate world. It would have been so hard to leave her to go into an 8 to 5 office job all last week after our weekend trauma. It was such a luxury to work in my home office while she recovered at my feet.

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Speaking of work, I don’t know what October is going to look like as far as billings go, but I am thrilled with September. It was the most lucrative and productive month I have had so far, which bodes well for the future. I’m still trying land some steadier income, but this past month is proof that I can do really well for myself and kick ass as an entrepreneur. Woot!

I am also extremely grateful that my social life has picked up considerably and taken on a life of its own. I’m officially back on old my friends’ radar … and a few new people are actually seeking me out, too! Just goes to show, be careful what you wish for. I’ve got more offers that I’ve got time right now, which is a fortunate problem to have.

On the topic of socializing, I am happy to have attended one of the Actors Theatre of Louisville's performances of “Dracula” this weekend. Oh Em Gee. It was awesome! I hadn’t been to Actors in years, and I had forgotten what a top-drawer operation it is.

The props, lighting and sound were amazing, and the actors themselves are worthy of a much larger stage. I am grateful to be so spoiled by the quality of the arts community in my hometown, and I am also extremely happy that I can financially afford to participate in them. (I’m seriously considering season tickets after seeing this most recent performance. Yeah, that good.)

Another gratitude I would like to share is for the tools for living that are at my fingertips whenever I need to reach for them. I’ve been struggling with some baggage related to romantic relationships lately, so a trusted friend suggested I write it all down.

I’ve got a notebook filled with my personal inventory on that subject, but I have yet to talk through it with another person (a key part of the healing process). But just having some of that garbage down on paper has lifted the huge weight I didn’t even realize I was carrying. History dictates that I’ll feel like a whole new person once I vomit out the contents of that notebook onto a willing listener. (She knows who she is.)

Along those lines… there are a few women in my life who have become really important to me over the past few months. I am so blessed that my higher power decided to bring them into my life..... perfect friggin' timing.

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I am also grateful to be able to pay back some of those chicas' kindnesses. My newest soul sister owns a restaurant, and she has asked me to offer an extra hand during a big festival next weekend. I am honored and thrilled to be able to help out.

(FYI, I’ll be selling beer tickets in the Wick’s Pizza and Pub tent at the New Albany location during Harvest Homecoming on Friday and Saturday nights, so come see me!)

I’ve also met a new friend who I am excited to get to know more. It feels good when someone who you think is super cool finds you interesting enough to seek you out to deepen your connection. Yessiree.

I am also grateful for awareness, and for doing things differently today. For many years, my default setting was, well, grrrrrrr.

For example, used to be that when I would go shopping, I just wanted to get in and get out. I didn’t want to make small talk with the cashier, so I would usually ignore platitudes like, “How are you?” and just stand there stoically waiting for my total. Anger was my armor, and it was a tough shell to crack in those days.

I’ve worked hard to become a kinder, gentler version of myself, so today, I consciously make an effort to be nice to people. All people. Even when I don’t feel like it. And man, does it make a huge difference in how I feel about myself and the rest of the world.

Case in point, I recently got a message from a friend that really annoyed me. But rather than lashing out, I sat on my hands and didn’t respond. I knew that if I wrote back immediately, I wouldn’t be able to say anything nice at all. I’m still considering composing a reply on why I was so annoyed, but it may just be better left alone. Either way, my choice today is a shit-ton more civil than it would have been five years ago.

Yeah, today I am grateful to be able to take a step back. I am able to ignore my first reaction to people, places and things most of the time, because it is usually unkind and always wrong. I don’t want to be that bitch, er, girl anymore, so I am actively making different choices.

One last gratitude I want to share is about my son. We’ve shared a rocky path over the past few years, as anyone in my inner circle is well aware. But I think we have turned a corner in the past month or so and are beginning to have an adult relationship. We are both being kind and respectful to each other, and my household is a helluva lot more peaceful as a result.

During the storms and flash flooding the other night, he called to check on me to make sure I was OK and not floating on a raft in the middle of downtown. It was so sweet that he was concerned, I was touched. (As it happens, I was out dancing at a bar in St. Matthews and was perfectly dry. See photo at left.)

This also reminded me how meaningful a simple act of kindness can be, and I would do well to remember that the next time I am in Sam’s Club and want to mow down the jackasses who block my path to the coffee aisle.

Yep, I am a lucky girl to live the life I lead and have the love of people I also love. Life is not perfect, but it’s damn good.

Now, if someone could please tell my stomach that, so it’ll stop churning, everything would be 100 percent dandy. Ugh. So.... which one of you kind, loving souls wants to bring me some ginger ale?  

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